Marry a poor woman

AFODAT in Insights 8 days ago
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    AFODAT

    Marrying a Poor Woman Doesn’t Make You Noble—You’re Only A Slave to Your Ego.

     

    Saving women is a thankless job.

     

    Don’t sponsor a woman through school. Don’t attempt to set up a business for her.

     

    If you drag her from hell, she’ll say “thank you”—and leave you there.

     

    Every man has heard the story.

     

    He paid her fees. Bought the form. Sponsored the degree.

    Built the brand. Funded her business.

    Then one day—boom—she said:

    “I’m no longer doing.”

     

    And just like that, she left.

    Clean. Sharp. Zero guilt. Zero refund.

     

    You think it’s betrayal.

    She thinks it’s closure.

     

    You call it ingratitude.

    But it’s deeper than that.

     

    You violated a fundamental law of human nature:

    The need for autonomy.

     

     

    1. Never Set Up a Relationship That Requires Eternal Gratitude

     

    If love feels like a debt…

    It’s only a matter of time before the debtor walks.

     

    When you make someone feel like they owe you their life,

    they’ll eventually fight for their freedom.

     

    You thought you gave her wings.

    She thinks you clipped her soul.

     

    It’s not always wickedness.

    It’s just resentment disguised as liberation.

     

     

    2. Human Nature Hates Control—Even When It’s Wrapped in Kindness

     

    You helped her. Yes.

    But she didn’t feel equal. She felt managed. Overseen. Obligated.

     

    And over time, that obligation becomes oxygenless.

     

    Now she can’t disagree without feeling ungrateful.

    She can’t express herself without filtering every word.

    She can’t be honest—without sounding disloyal.

     

    So what does she do?

     

    She chooses freedom.

    And labels you… “controlling.”

    You’re a bloody “narcissist.”

    Even if all you did was give.

     

     

    3. Resentment Is Bred Where Contribution Is Denied

     

    Every relationship needs co-authorship.

    Not charity. Not pity. Not a saviour complex.

     

    You were carrying all the load—then shocked when she felt like luggage.

     

    The problem wasn’t your generosity.

    The problem was she had no story of her own inside the journey.

     

    No stake. No sacrifice. No sense of power.

     

    You felt noble.

    She felt invisible.

     

     

    4. The Same Way She Feels Trapped by Your Help—You’d Feel Trapped If She Gave You Her Virginity

     

    Let’s make it fair.

     

    Some women think giving a man their virginity is enough reason to expect eternal loyalty.

     

    “I gave him my first, he owes me forever.”

     

    But over time, the man starts to feel like a prisoner to a moment that already passed.

     

    Now every argument is guilt.

    Every complaint is a betrayal.

     

    He starts to feel caged by a memory.

     

    That’s the same thing she feels when you try to bind her with your generosity.

     

    You paid her fees. Bought her wigs. Funded her dreams.

     

    Now she feels like she can’t breathe without permission.

    Like she owes you every smile.

    Like her opinions are “disrespectful” because you “made her.”

     

    It’s not wickedness—it’s human nature rejecting the feeling of being owned.

     

    Love turns sour when freedom disappears.

     

    So if you’d feel trapped by virginity,

    don’t be surprised when she feels trapped by your generosity.

     

     

    5. If You Can’t Watch Her Suffer—Then Don’t Date Her

     

    Let that one marinate.

     

    Because the moment you rush to fix everything, you’ve robbed her of two things:

     

     1. The dignity of her own grind.

     2. The wisdom that comes from rising, not being rescued.

     

    You think you upgraded her.

    But you didn’t change the OS.

     

    She’s still running poverty software—with luxury packaging.

     

    And one day she’ll wake up and say:

    “I need to find myself.”

     

    Translation: You’re the past.

    She wants a fresh identity—without your fingerprints all over it.

     

     

    6. Women Are Hypergamous—But That’s Not Your Cue to Be Her Elevator

     

    Just because she dates up doesn’t mean you need to be her mechanic.

     

    Don’t build her from scratch and expect loyalty.

     

    Loyalty comes from shared sweat—not just shared bank alerts.

     

    You’re not a foundation.

    You’re not a rehab centre.

     

    If you can’t handle her struggle,

    date someone who isn’t struggling.

     

    Because once you make it a rescue mission—you’ve already lost the war.

     

     

    7. Stop Giving Handouts. Start Demanding Contribution

     

    Whether it’s love, friendship, or family—

    people value what they invest in.

     

    Even God doesn’t give blessings without faith.

     

    But you?

    You’re sponsoring entire adults like an NGO.

     

    And then you’re shocked when they leave?

     

    She didn’t betray you.

    You underwrote her resentment.

     

    You made it too easy.

    And she made it look too hard.

     

     

    Learn This: Don’t Help People Hate You

     

    Every time you carry the entire weight,

    you rob others of growth.

     

    Then you become the enemy.

     

    That’s why she left you for a pauper she could argue with.

    That’s why she left the palace to sit on a mat with someone she could correct.

    That’s why she turned on you the moment she got her degree.

    It’s the same reason she ran the business to the ground.

     

    Because what she wanted wasn’t just freedom.

     

    It was agency.

    The right to own her story.

    The power to choose—even if it means choosing less.

     

    And you?

     

    You were just the step she skipped—

    the demon of her past she needed to slay.

     

    So next time your heart is racing to “save the babe,” remember:

     

    Build with people. Not for them.

     

    Because people don’t stay where they’re rescued.

    They stay where they’re respected.

     

    Let the conversation start in the comments.

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